Reflections on my journey

My reflection task is going to be about my journey covering pre-contact and first contact. This journey will take into account my beliefs, ideas, knowledge and values, from abstract concepts to concrete experiences. I will be taking my experiences throughout my life, up to the point of my first contact as an aboriginal in my mid fifties. Challenging some of my existing beliefs and having some of those beliefs affirmed. My reflection will take you through my personal growth and development and how that has impacted on my art practices and the impact on the people around me.

Throughout my life I was unaware that I was growing up with Aboriginals, this being my family and relatives. Due to the Government stolen generation policy, my grandparents and parents chose to hide this fact, and presented our collective family as Maori. I struggled all my life trying to connect with the Maori culture, where on numerous occasions I commented to my family that I felt more aligned to the aboriginal culture. It was through my eldest daughter Amanda’s family research, at the age of 55, that I was to be told I was of Anglo-Chinese-Aboriginal heritage. This news was received with great emotion.

My very first contact as an aboriginal man with the local community, being the Zillmere Community administrator, was a very negative experience where I was brushed off and told to go elsewhere for assistance. Through the family research, I was able to locate my grandmother’s brother’s family (Ahoy) in Armidale. To make first contact with this arm of my family, I made several phone calls with no response, undeterred I got into my car and drove to Armidale to meet with the family face to face. This initial experience was also negative, as my cousin Colin Ahoy implied that I was only following my Aboriginal roots to get onto the funding bandwagon. Both first contact experiences left me feeling disillusioned and confused. Three years on, I am
able to reflect on these instances with a greater degree of understanding and knowledge why the past events played out the way they did. Today I have an excellent relationship with the family in Armidale and with the local community in Brisbane.

My understanding of this first contact situation has come about from a number of scenarios and experiences, which has enabled me to grow my level of understanding through education and involvement with family and community. With the understanding of my Aboriginality came the understanding of how to communicate in a community environment giving all parties, family and community, common ground on which to come together. This understanding came from a number of areas such as my relationship with a police Aboriginal liaison officer Paul Coolwell, who in turn was my referee into QCA’s BOACIA program.

My learning continued and is continuing today through the discovery of Aboriginal culture and life within the University environment. Lecturers and fellow students passing down of stories and their life experiences, together with the formal studies are adding to the richness of my understanding. This life’s journey has been one of turmoil, anger and emotional highs and lows. This knowledge has taken me from the point of anger towards my mother and grandmother for denying me the experience of being Aboriginal, to understanding why they made these choices. To the sheer relief of not being subjected to the horrific injustices experienced by others who where forcibly removed from their families and denied a reasonable life and education. Both of these scenarios left me struggling for some time with my emotions.

This loss of culture evoked some of my deepest feelings, to be reflected through my painting of Creation, Warrior Dreaming, Spirit of Innocence and Father Spirit being part of my Celestial Series and my linking to the Dreamtime. Go to my Web site www.yuinart.com These pieces of art have had a profound

effect on white Australians who have viewed this work through my exhibitions. The general comment from the public was that it made the viewer feel the same connection to the art as the artist by the way it evoked their emotions. This artwork also had a profound effect on close and distant family members. Once they saw this work, they realised my deep connection to my Aboriginality, and are now walking with me in support.

The next stage of my journey took me to a different level of understanding and reflection with my involvement in the death in custody of Doomadgee and the meetings I attended through the support group. My involvement in presenting a partition outlining the message of dissatisfaction of the justice system to the Premier of Queensland touched me to my inner core. Throughout the semester I was also touched by our class on Pre-contact and First contact, where I could envisage what life was like before first contact to what had been endured over the past two hundred years. So profound was the effect on me I almost felt possessed to put this image in my head onto canvas. I created Aboriginal Lore on canvas. Throughout the semester I visited the exhibition on Broken Links. In support of the healing process for the generation of Aboriginal children, mothers, fathers and families of the Stolen Generation, I have committed to canvas a series of paintings depicting the lost spirits of Aboriginal Children. The first of this series has been completed.
These major events through Aboriginal history (post contact), has given me the impulse to record these stories of white injustice to canvas, as seen with my latest art piece Spirit Stolen.

In summary my relatively new experience with my Aboriginality has had my opinions shifted from a point of ignorance to a much-tempered realistic point of understanding. It is still with an element of frustration that I struggle with the inequalities and injustice experienced by Aboriginals from all walks of life. The racism within the white community towards Aboriginals and the racism within the Aboriginal community towards their own has me wondering where I fit into this turmoil. My journey has me committed to making a difference by passing on my life experiences through my ability to put these stories to canvas.